Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
