I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
