who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
