I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
