I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
