Define "chronic" masturbator.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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