Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
