someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
