You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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