im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
