he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
