well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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