The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize