You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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