the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize