Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize