The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
