Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
