Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
