there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize