do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
