I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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