also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
