It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
