I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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