she woke up with a sticky ear
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
