whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize