girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
