been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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