Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
