Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
