I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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