Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
