Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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