the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
