I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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