Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
