great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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