i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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