Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
