Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
