She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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