i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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