It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
soo... how was my night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
