We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You are a genius and a whore.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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