it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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