Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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