I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
