Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize