I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
