It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
