Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
