I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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