Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
