she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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