party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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