im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
