I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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