he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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