I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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