You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
