question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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